Here's another historical text--
Holly's Woefully Pitiful Online Dating Update, Monday, August 11, 2014:
I either need to figure out what the heck I'm looking for, beef up my profile, and start messaging the guys that I find interesting in order to not feel so sadly pathetic that the only people who seem to be interested in my are over-aged lecherous looking bus driver types or go to the Humane Society and start adopting the cats.
This was followed by a brief exchange between the brother and I:
Bro:
You need to put these thoughts on a blog.
Me:
I'm aware.
Bro:
You lift lines from the profiles/messages and then find stock photos that sort of look like the guys.
Me:
Hmmm...so you're saying approach it like I'm writing my first novel.
Bro:
Well, maybe. I was thinking you could just make us laugh.
Me:
Yes. But you're an easy mark.
Bro:
Approach it like a guide to fall TV. "And on Tuesday nights it's a choice between a guy that's possibly driving a bus of Canadians to the outlet mall or this guy that reminds me of a young Mr. Roper..."
Me:
Maybe I'll meet someone in Kentucky. Who isn't related. Although the relation would make it more funny.
Bro:
{Sis,} "Justified" is fiction. Timothy Olyphant (Raylan) lives in LA, not Lewisburg, and criminals look like {some of our relatives}, not Boyd Crowder.
Me:
Damn. Fuark.
Me:
My profile is pretty empty still, so I need to beef it up. I think I'm going to use this line: "While I don't actively hang out in the Shire, or consult a Klingon Dictionary as a second language, I'm fairly certain that I could have it intelligent debate as to whether or not Han fired first.
Bro:
That's good! (Though, honestly, if the guy doesn't realize that Han shot first, he's a no-go).
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